Lessons from a Heart Attack Victim

     Recently, a man I work with had a minor heart attack.  He said it was possibly the most pain he’d ever experienced in his life.  He had to be taken to the hospital where they treated him.  He was released a few days later and sent home with strict orders for diet and activity.

     Then, four days later, he had another heart attack.  This one was much, much worse.  He said the pain he experienced in the first one was nothing in comparison to the pain of the second.  He was again rushed to the hospital, and on more than one occasion the doctors thought they were going to lose him.  He said that the worst part was that he was conscious through the whole process.  He could hear the doctors talking, saying they were losing him.  His life flashed before his eyes, and several times he thought that this next breath would be his last. 

     Thankfully, he survived, but at a great cost.  He had to have several stints put in and had to undergo several other procedures over the next month and a half.  His diet, activity level, and the rest of his entire lifestyle had to change dramatically.  But that wasn’t the biggest change.  The biggest change was his outlook on life.

     I’ve never been on death’s doorstep, and quite frankly I’d rather not be there anytime soon.  But this man came back from his experience completely changed.  He wasn’t ever a really “rough” man, but his demeanor was much softer afterwards.  He wasn’t a grudge-bearing man, but he certainly became a forgiver.  In his own words, “There just isn’t too much worth getting upset about when you’re just glad to be alive.”

     I’m a big advocate of learning from other people’s mistakes, but this one threw me for a loop.  This man went through so much in such a short time and changed so dramatically that it is hard to ignore the significance.  Not only has his life changed, but his interaction with other people has changed.  His relationship with his wife has changed.  His relationship with God has changed.  He has changed.

     We always hear things like “Don’t sweat the small stuff” but how many of us actually listen?  We hear people say that family is more important, our children are more important, and that what really matters is the quality of your relationships.  But how many people actually live that way?  We tend to let our lives get cluttered by worrying about things that ultimately have no meaning.

     Yes, my goal here is to make sure you have a good financial life.  But don’t sacrifice your family for the sake of money.  What’s the point of having all that money if you don’t have a life to spend it on?  Being healthy is really important, but find a balance. 

     Don’t sacrifice one area of your life just to make another bigger.  Instead, make deposits into all the areas of your life and watch them improve together.  That way, you won’t miss out on the things that are really important, and you won’t go to your deathbed with regrets.  Stop taking your life for granted and really enjoy it before it’s gone.

     You see, I’m on this journey too.  I’m learning these things before I pass them on to you.  I want to make sure I love my wife and daughter more than money or honor.  I want to make sure I’m forgiving and seeking forgiveness rather than holding grudges.  I want to take these principles and store them deep in my heart so I can live life to the fullest under the shining light of God’s grace.

 

-Heath

Being Weird is Awesome: Marriage

     If you know me personally, you know that I’m stubborn, opinionated, assertive, and can occasionally be a super jerk.  I’m not one of those people who think I have to be right all the time, but I just end up being right anyway.  I mean, come on, it’s not arrogance if it’s right, right?  But seriously, I am pretty awesome.

     But enough about me.  Let me take a minute to brag on my wife.  Of all the people in my life that I’ve met and interacted with, my wife is by far the coolest.  She’s smart, quite humorous, stunningly beautiful, and gave me the most precious gift anyone has ever given me.  A PS3 – I mean my daughter.  My daughter, Maggie.

     My wife is also incredibly stubborn, opinionated, assertive, and can occasionally have the appearance of a jerk.  You see, we’re two peas in a pod.  Like peanut butter and jelly.  Like steak and potatoes.  Like green eggs and ham.  Man I’m hungry now…

     Anyway, I think we have a pretty sweet marriage, too.  We have a LOT of common thoughts, beliefs, goals, etc.  That’s a big deal in marriage.  I may not be a marriage expert, but I’m pretty sure if you agree on politics, finances, religion, child rearing, and future goals, you stand a pretty good chance of having a marriage that will last.  Not guaranteed but pretty good chance.

     But you see, my wife and I are weird.  Yes, I’ll admit it.  We’re weird.  You see, since we agree on all those things…and this is so totally weird…we don’t argue about them.  Wait wait wait, slow down.  I think you may have missed it.  We don’t argue about those things.  Those are some of the most controversial topics on the planet, and we don’t argue about them.  That’s…weird.

     Most people on the planet will argue and get offended over political discussions, religious discussions, financial discussions, etc.  Why is that?  Well, people have different beliefs (and, of course, are allowed to have them) and sometimes those beliefs grind against one another.  This causes conflict and even anger, strife, and hatred.  Sometimes it breeds violence.  Sometimes it breeds fear.

     And I’m just talking about marriages still.

     The best part of my marriage is that my wife and I agree on these issues.  However, it didn’t start that way for every topic.  While we may have started off with agreeing on politics and faith, we didn’t necessarily agree on family, finances, or future goals.

     The real weird part is where we chose to intentionally work out those issues in our marriage and come to a place of agreement.  We really had to work together on our desires for our children and our parents and what we want out of a family.  We had to work together on our method of handling our money.  And all that together helped us come into agreement on our future goals.  We used to argue about those things, but now we’ve worked it out and it just…doesn’t happen anymore.

     Look anywhere on the internet and you’ll find stats that lack of communication is probably the biggest cause of divorce out there.  However, I think that’s a cop-out because “lack of communication” is such a broad term.  If you look at the specific reasons given for divorce, you will notice time and time again that it’s not cheating that’s the top reason, it’s money fights and money problems.  It’s not even abuse, it’s moving apart from one another because you’re not moving forward together.  Lack of communications is a nice, easy answer, but the root issues look more like career goals and dollar signs.

     Don’t take my word for it, though, go fact check me.  And feel free to disagree.

     Also, don’t misunderstand.  My wife and I sill argue.  We just don’t argue about those things anymore because we worked it out.  But we still argue and it’s usually over really stupid stuff like “where’d you put the mustard” and “why does the baby not have pants on” and “stop looking at youtube and pay attention” and “no I don’t think the fig tree that we never eat figs from should still be alive because it’s encroaching on our house slowly but surely and we’ll all die from a fig tree falling on us.”  Simple stuff like that.

     Listen, we’re not perfect but I’ll say we’re good.  We don’t argue over things that a TON of other people do, and that makes us weird.  But, trust me, being weird is awesome.

 

 

-Heath